A Quitter Once I

Yesterday, I have watched a reality TV show in a local channel. I have learned that there were 2 contestants who have quit already. I felt bad about the quitters in that show. The contestants had given up their chance of the big opportunity for their being homesick.

I used to be like them. Actually, the title never fits in this situation. It was not only once that I used to quit from a seemingly "big opportunity," but many times.

When I was in the elementary school, I gave up my chance to be one of the two representatives for a Math Quiz. I chickened out when I realized that I will be biting the bullet against two of my most known "Mathematicians" in my class. It was because I was influenced by our Math teacher. She told us, "We will only be having 2 representatives for our school in this Math contest... there are 3 of you now, so if one of you thinks that he/she is not worth it, you can back out now." How cruel. Then she looked at me in the eye. I knew that I was not that good compared to the two classmates, so.... I gave it up.



Realizing that life was not that always good, when I got older... I even got into a major emotional tragedy in my life. It affected me too much that I wanted to really quit my profession (I do have :-P ). I am still contemplating if I am really for this type of job.

I am Shaqtal for now, but I might someday throw away my blanket. But I will just wash it probably, and hide cowardly inside it or maybe bravely... to continue writing here... blogging.

It is hard to face reality when you are caught between two opposing principles in life. Will I be a quitter or will I stay to win the opportunity but my heart is telling me to stop? Why are we stopping anyway? What are the reasons? I believe in what my heart tells me. If a thing will not make me happy or if I know that I really don't stand a chance, why not risk time and effort?

As long as I am happy and I will not be pressured.... I care not for what other people will say and feel about me. It is me who will decide for myself and the people around me supposedly will support my decisions. People who really care are people who will not just tolerate you, but will believe on your capacity to decide for yourself. Just make sure that what we decide in life are things and situations that will make us happy and free from any worries without stepping on someone else.